Turtles

why are there turtles?
duh cause their green!!
yeah so?
Well without turtles we wouldn't have the color green!!
why do we need the color green?
duh because we need turtles!!

We at the Farmington Bureau of Investigations regret to inform you that your factual claims on Chelonia subclass of the animal kingdom (namely, turtles) contains several errors. Members of the turtle family are not in fact green. Rather, their microplasmatic zenophoid membranes contain highly-sensitive pigmentation defractory cells, destructuralizing the spectromatic integrity of type G-17 color frequency waves, aka green. Therefore, turtles appear green only because the atmospheric sonographs depressurize the coloration of yellow, causing a multimixturation of amarallius and azulinite frequencies. Please be advised that the FBI carefully monitors all e-mail correspondence and will be vigilant for further erroneous information passed on to innocent e-mail recipients in such a non-chalent and reckless manner. Anonymous Agent, FBI

Paper cups

you know what i like the best about paper cups?
No, What?
Their flavor!!
What you mean how they make everything taste a little more like wax?
Yeah isn't it great?
No thats gross, if you like wax so much why don't you go eat it!!
OK I will!!

Sharpeners?

better watch out for those sharpeners, they cleave the skin right off your head!!what are you talking about Bill, sharpeners don't do that!Yeah they do, they ride in with painted facesNo, no those are scalpers not sharpeners!what are you saying i'm racist. I resemble that remark!!!Whatever you wanna think Bill

Syncronized not Insync

"give me all your money!!"~Thief
"What you mean the $4 i have for gas to get home"~Syncronized Swimmer
"I know you have money mr Insync!!"~Thief
"Not Insync i am a sycronized swimmer"~Syncronized Swimmer
"So your telling me that doesn't mean your from Insync?"~Thief
"Absolutely, if i were from Insync i doubt i'd be going to a public gym, i'd have bought my own!!"~Syncronized Swimmer
"Your starting to make sense, well give me your $4 then i want to go grab a sandwhich."~Thief

Beanie Hats

"George, What is a beanie cap?" ~Fred
"Well Fred, Some say a beanie cap is a weapon of unimaginable power.Some say that if you were able to master its uses you could rule the world.Still others believe that while wearing it on your head at the right time of year you can actually fly.Is any of this true, who can say for sure." ~George
"Well personally i just think its a silly looking hat" ~Fred

String Cheese

string cheese, what is so special about string cheese?Is it really different from normal cheese? I would say no, the only difference is the shape its in.And most people break it apart anyway so whats the point.Why don't they just buy it in a different shape, one less expensive and break that into pieces?
"oh man i like this string cheese"~numb skull
"yeah aint it good?"~floppy
"yeah, where did you get it?"~smokey
"i just chopped some cheese into little pieces"~tommy
"no way, thats like so smart"~fins
"yeah man i would have never thought of something like that"~numb skull
"well your name is numb skull"~floppy
"what's that supposed to mean?"~numb skull
"um...that this is great cheese"~floppy
"oh right yeah it definately is"~numb skull

A Dingo Ate my Baby

"the dingo ate your baby?"~croco
"yes the dingo ate my baby!!"~stringos
"wait you have a baby?"~croco
"had"~senor ramirez
"right, you had a baby?"~croco
"yes you know when a guy and a girl get married they sometimes have children"~stringos
"your married?"~croco
"yes i'm married i married your brother!!"~stringos
"i have a brother?"~croco
"yes you know that other boy who grew up with you?"~stringos
"I grew up??"~croco
"apparently not!!"~stringos
"wass that supposed to mean?"croco
"who cares, a dingo ate my baby!!!"~stringos
"you have a baby?"~croco
"here we go again"~senor ramirez