Turtles

why are there turtles?
duh cause their green!!
yeah so?
Well without turtles we wouldn't have the color green!!
why do we need the color green?
duh because we need turtles!!

We at the Farmington Bureau of Investigations regret to inform you that your factual claims on Chelonia subclass of the animal kingdom (namely, turtles) contains several errors. Members of the turtle family are not in fact green. Rather, their microplasmatic zenophoid membranes contain highly-sensitive pigmentation defractory cells, destructuralizing the spectromatic integrity of type G-17 color frequency waves, aka green. Therefore, turtles appear green only because the atmospheric sonographs depressurize the coloration of yellow, causing a multimixturation of amarallius and azulinite frequencies. Please be advised that the FBI carefully monitors all e-mail correspondence and will be vigilant for further erroneous information passed on to innocent e-mail recipients in such a non-chalent and reckless manner. Anonymous Agent, FBI